Today, demonstrations are happening at legislatures, city halls, and school board offices across Canada as part of the “1 Million March 4 Children” movement. These demonstrations seek to eliminate Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity curricula and policies from Canadian schools.
I’m very vocal about being an ally to the 2SLGBTQ+ community. As I’ve always said, I support those trying to live a peaceful, loving life without hate. I don’t ask anyone to affirm the lifestyle if it’s not something they believe in, but I do ask that they do no harm.
As I read the coverage of today’s demonstrations, the discriminatory comments cut a little deeper than they usually do. Racial discrimination is something I experienced frequently in the seventies and eighties, but as time passed people became better educated and therefore more understanding and inclusive.
Or so I thought.
Yesterday, I experienced an overt act of racism. I don’t want to go into the specifics of the incident but there is no misunderstanding or misinterpretation of what happened. As a person of Guyanese/Chinese descent discrimination is not new to me. Though this didn’t happen yesterday, I’ve been called the “N” word and the “P” word before. I know the look of disdain on the face of someone who dislikes me because of the color of my skin. I know what racism looks like.
My immediate reaction was disbelief and that was quickly followed by pure anger. To avoid an even more uncomfortable scene, I walked away. I tried self-talk and reminded myself that this may just be a case of the individual being uneducated as opposed to hateful, but it didn’t work. I reminded myself that this was about them and not me but that didn’t work. I had the support of a dear friend who saw how upset I was getting but that didn’t help.
Nothing helps when you feel dehumanized.
I took a deep breath and carried on as if nothing had happened. However, when I was alone in my car, I remembered something from when I was a child. I was with my brother playing on the driveway of our house. We could not have been older than 9 or 10. An adult walking by the house looked at us and without provocation said, “Why don’t you go back to your own country?” Those feelings of shame, embarrassment, and fear that I felt that day came flooding back and I had to pull over onto the side of the road to cry. There are some things that you never forget no matter how hard you try.
Now, let’s substitute homophobia for racism. Think about how some kids who identify as 2SLGBTQ+ may feel about the protests today. They may feel shame, embarrassment, or fear for being perceived as being different or unacceptable – just as I did 40 years ago because of the color of my skin.
Consider this new study from the Angus Reid Institute – the second in a series of reports on Canada and the Culture Wars. Seven in ten Canadians say that transgender people in Canada face significant discrimination in their day-to-day lives. A further two-thirds (64%) say that increasing acceptance of trans people is a sign of social progress for Canada.
However, Canadians tend to feel there is a media fixation with transgender issues that give this subject “too much attention”. Three in five (60%) say this, an increase from 41 percent who said the same in 2016.
This is the statistic that I found most interesting. Of the comments that I receive from our readers on this issue, “I’m tired of this being shoved down my throat,” is the one I hear most frequently. I want to be clear about something: I think there is a big difference between not affirming homosexuality and being homophobic. I do believe that everyone has a right to their beliefs and opinions as long as it’s expressed respectfully and with consideration to the other person’s humanity. Aggression breeds aggression, and violence and insults have no place in any intelligent conversation.
To read more on this study go to: https://angusreid.org/canada-culture-wars-gender-and-trans-issues/
For me, today looks very different from yesterday. I woke up to a very sweet text from my husband that made me smile. While out walking my dog I noticed how blue the sky was and how pretty the green of the trees looked against it. These are simple, beautiful things that should not be overshadowed by something ugly. I haven’t forgotten what happened to me yesterday, but it has lost its significance.
You don’t have to like someone or agree with their beliefs but be respectful. Be kind. Be human. That’s all anyone can ask.
