Writer: Sabina Hooper
March 21st is the International Day for the Elimination of Racial Discrimination. It’s observed annually on the day the police in Sharpeville, South Africa, opened fire and killed 69 people at a peaceful demonstration against apartheid “pass laws” in 1960.
This past Sunday, my husband and I had the privilege of speaking at a church about what racism feels like. When we received the invitation my initial reaction was to decline it. I’ve had so many problems with racism in recent years that I felt that speaking about it publicly would paint a bullseye on my back. I’m well aware that some people are going to see me as a whiner and a snowflake. However, there is a value that I hold very dear to my heart; if you know there is a problem and you don’t do anything about it, you are part of the problem. For the sake of my young nieces and nephews and my disabled stepson, I could not decline an opportunity to speak out about equality.
A lot of thought went into what my husband and I wanted to say. We discussed talking points and made notes. We wanted to make it clear that we weren’t there to point fingers, but to share our truth about how racial discrimination impacts us as a couple from different races. Much to my surprise, I got in front of the group and cried. I cried a lot. Thinking about what I wanted to say and actually hearing myself say the words were two different things. It opened a floodgate of hurt, anger and frustration I’ve been holding back for a long time.
A Statistics Canada report was released earlier this month and as someone of Guyanese/Chinese descent, it made me sick. It reads:
The number of hate crimes reported by police in Canada rose from 3,355 incidents in 2021 to 3,576 in 2022, a 7% increase. This followed two sharp annual increases, resulting in a cumulative rise of 83% from 2019 to 2022. In general, self-reported experiences of discrimination also increased during the first several months of the COVID-19 pandemic (Discrimination before and since the start of the pandemic).
Higher numbers of hate crimes targeting a race or an ethnicity (+12% to 1,950 incidents) and a sexual orientation (+12% to 491 incidents) accounted for most of the increase in 2022. In 2022, hate crimes targeting a religion were down 15% from 2021 yet remained above the annual numbers recorded from 2018 to 2020.
A cumulative rise of 83%. Why? What has happened to make racism rear its ugly head in ways that we haven’t seen in decades? The global cry for equality and understanding following the death of George Floyd seemed to make a difference, and I believe that there was a genuine effort to build a more inclusive society. However, at the same time, there were rumblings by those who felt that visible minorities were “playing the race card” and that they “couldn’t say anything without being called a racist”. They fail to understand that racism has a cumulative effect on people. One incident may scratch your self esteem, but a lifetime of hearing it turns that scratch into a gaping wound, and your “joke” may be the last straw to someone who has suffered because of their race.
As a child, I was playing with my brothers on the driveway of our home in Scarborough. A young man who was walking by stopped and shouted, “Why don’t you pakis go back to your own country?” Imagine being so full of hate that you’d be willing to say that to young children.
So began my struggle with my identity. I became painfully aware that I was different. I didn’t just come from a different race from my friends, I came from a different culture, and as immigrants from Guyana, my parents sometimes had trouble understanding the Canadian way of life. As a kid who just wanted to fit in with the other kids, it was humiliating to have to explain that I was not allowed to do things that they took for granted.
It became less of an issue in adulthood because I understood that racism is rooted is ignorance. I will never forget one incident that I find both appalling and funny. I was at a Christmas party and a woman said to me, “All of this Christmas stuff must be new to you.” I was forty.
The slights don’t end with me. My husband insists that he hears more racist comments than I do because people are more open about it because he is white. He says he hears the word “paki” and the term “brown army” being used without a second thought.
I’ve been told that if I need more “ethnic” food I can go to Parry Sound, I’ve been followed around stores by suspicious staff, and one woman gave me a dirty look and walked away when I asked her a friendly question. However, the most disturbing and hurtful thing I have encountered is the brazen anti-Asian “jokes” and statements routinely disseminated across the community for everyone to see. My grandfather is from China. My beloved, late father is half Chinese. Those so-called jokes gut me every time I see them because I know that there are people out there who are alright with mocking my heritage and who don’t want me in my community because of my race.
Additionally, an overt threat of violence against the trans community was published. That threat sucked the air out of my lungs for two reasons. Someone who is very dear to me is trans and has considered suicide because of the hate he faces. Secondly, since that threat went unchallenged by the community, I wonder how long it will be before the threat is turned against me for being a different race. Hate is hate.
Do I think someone is going to physically hurt me? Not really. I don’t walk around jumping at shadows BUT I am aware that the possibility of being attacked exists no matter how minute it may be.
Think I’m exaggerating or making something out of nothing? Read these names:
Yumnah Afzaal, Madiha Salman, Salman Afzaal, and Talat Afzaal. This family from London, Ontario was deliberately run down with a pickup truck because they were Muslim.
In Buffalo in 2022, a white supremacist murdered 10 Black people during a livestreamed supermarket rampage.
In March 2019, 51 Muslim worshippers in two New Zealand mosques were slaughtered during Friday prayers. The white supremacist behind the attack livestreamed the horror on Facebook.
My point – the little racial or homophobic joke that you think is harmless may incite someone who has true hate in their heart. A true racist may see that joke or comment as validation for their twisted ideology, and the result can be catastrophic. No one thinks that it will happen in their community until it does.
I titled this article, “Why it’s easy for me to forget my skin colour”. I did so because thinking about my race is not a priority for me. I don’t look in the mirror every morning and think, “How brown can I be today?” It’s stupid. It’s ridiculous. The colour of my skin has no bearing on who I am as a human being, so why is it the criteria that some people use to judge me?
The first step toward eliminating racism is saying something. I’m not talking about a fight or a protest march through the middle of your town. When someone is denigrating others based on race, religion, gender, or sexual orientation, SAY SOMETHING. It can be something as simple as, “That makes me uncomfortable because it hurts other people and that’s not who I am.”
I can’t think of a race, including the white race, who hasn’t been the target of racism at some point. There is a quote from Martin Luther King that brings me to tears because I wish with all my heart that it could be true.
I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
That says it all.
