Finding an authentic identity is something that we all struggle with. More than how we identify, identity makes up who we are, and who we want to become. Creating an identity that feels authentic is one of the biggest challenges of being a teenager. You’re constantly searching for a way to authentically reflect yourself while still trying to fit in with your peers, appease your family, and impress others. This is challenging enough for anyone, but with the rise of hate against LGBTQ+ youth there is an additional stigma that is harmfully impacting the minds of many youth.
Over the past few decades, the attitude surrounding LGBTQ+ individuals has shifted significantly. While we have taken positive steps forward such as the legalization of gay marriage, there is no denying that there are still many homophobic individuals within the world. Although our laws may reflect a more progressive attitude, this attitude is not always shared on a personal level. Children of homophobic parents can find themselves struggling with mixed messages and the unfortunate reality that not everyone will accept them for who they are. Whether we are aware of it or not, there is still so much internalized homophobia within all of us. One of the most impactful conversations I ever had about coming to terms with your identity was with one of my queer friends who told me “It’s much easier to admit you like women than to admit you don’t like men.” The truth of this startled me. There was so much internalized heteronormativity inside myself, that I was completely unaware was even there.
As I have seen more and more discussion of transphobic and homophobic laws being passed, particularly in the US, I can’t help but feel disheartened. Hateful people will always exist, but that will not stop children who don’t conform to a stereotypical cishet identity. Ostracizing these individuals just creates more hate, more stigma, and takes away support from struggling kids. Coming to terms with your identity can be an incredibly challenging and difficult experience, and without the support of your friends and family, it can feel impossible to ever be true to yourself. Even if you were raised in a loving and supportive household, the knowledge that there are people out there who will hate you just for existing is not only upsetting but honestly really scary. It’s not an experience I would wish upon anyone, let alone vulnerable teens. Promoting hate is not going to “turn your kids straight.” It’s only going to make your kids scared of you. You cannot force someone to change their identity. It is a personal truth that will exist whether you like it or not.
Pride has always been about fighting for queer rights. The right to be seen, to be heard, to be respected. For the freedom to exist in peace. It’s tragic that these are still things that we have to fight for. Yet no matter how scary and overwhelming the rise of hatred may be, there is always a community that will welcome you with open arms. Light will always come forth to match the darkness. Figuring out who you are, and what your identity is, is an incredibly difficult process that will change throughout your life. Even if it changes, it doesn’t make you ”less than”. The beauty of pride is it allows us to love who we love and embrace who we are with open arms. You don’t need a label to make you complete, and you don’t need the approval of others to have worth. Even the rainbow represents resilience, the knowledge that you fought through the storm, and came out the other side. No matter who you are, or how you identify, please know: you are loved, and there will always be someone out there willing to welcome you home with open arms.
